From Ashrams to Bionic Hips: A Yoga Teacher's Transformative Journey

As a vibrant and passionate yoga teacher with over 25 years of experience, my journey has been a tapestry woven with threads of mindfulness, breathwork, and the rhythmic flow of asanas. My life, both on and off the mat, has been dedicated to guiding others towards holistic well-being. Little did I anticipate that the universe had an unforeseen lesson for me – a lesson in embracing transformation and finding strength in vulnerability.

The initial whispers of discomfort in my hip, like an uninvited guest, gradually grew louder, disrupting the harmonious flow of my daily yoga practice.

In 1993, my odyssey into the world of yoga commenced in the heart of India, where ashram life and the Ganges river in Varanasi became my training ground. Living and training one-on-one with my first spiritual mentor for two years, my life took a profound turn.

Fast forward to my life as a full-time yoga teacher in London, teaching around 20 classes a week, cycling the streets with spare mats and a chilled playlists and hosting international retreats. Yet, it wasn't until practising the dynamic Ashtanga style of yoga in Mysore that a pivotal moment unfolded. A forceful adjustment from the teacher in a posture known as 'Badakansa' marked the beginning of excruciating pain, eventually diagnosed as arthritis.

For years, I had been the embodiment of strength and flexibility, effortlessly guiding students through poses that celebrated the body's capabilities. As a devoted yogini, the revelation that I needed a hip replacement found myself wrestling with feelings of shock, fear, shame and vulnerability at 43.

I was convinced that through my holistic lifestyle, I could keep the pain at bay, but over the years the wear and tear of arthritis brought me to the inevitable choice of surgery. 

In the shadows, I initially hid my pain, almost as if acknowledging it would tarnish the image of the strong and healthy yoga teacher I had cultivated. The journey from denial to acceptance has been a tumultuous ride, marked by moments of self-reflection and a deep exploration of the emotions that accompanied this unexpected turn in my path.

It was through the lens of mindfulness that I began to unravel the layers of my resistance. I embraced present-moment awareness, allowing myself to acknowledge the discomfort, fear, and vulnerability that had taken residence within me. With each breath, I discovered a sanctuary where I could find solace and acceptance, even in the face of uncertainty.

I began prioritizing mindfulness and breathwork practices and teaching both these became my refuge, helping release the trauma in my hips. In 2020, the limitations of movement became undeniable, and by 2023, 12 years later after my initial scan, surgery became a tangible prospect.
Breathwork emerged as my lifeline, guiding me through moments of pain and discomfort and as I navigated having surgery and recovery 

Now, as I stand at the precipice of a new chapter, I find myself not diminished but expanded. My identity as a yoga teacher has evolved from being defined solely by physical prowess to embracing the wisdom that comes with life's unexpected twists. Through my enhanced understanding of resilience, compassion, and adaptability, I am poised to emerge as a more empathetic and authentic guide for others on their own transformative journeys.

Now with two hip replacements, I share my story to break the silence surrounding pain and perfection within the yoga community. It's okay to experience pain; it doesn't diminish strength or health. Grappling with my own perfectionism in the earlier years definitely made dealing with pain a profound challenge.

I hope to inspire those who face challenges, whether physical or emotional, to recognize the beauty that lies in vulnerability and the strength that emerges from embracing change. Like the postures on the mat, we are invited to explore new dimensions of ourselves, fostering growth, and blossoming through transformation.

Vulnerability, it seemed, has the potential to be a source of strength, I've found a newfound compassion and acceptance for myself and share this within my classes blending in all these tools of yoga, breathwork, and mindfulness meditation. 

If you resonate with my journey – whether in pain, considering hip replacement, or already taken that step and are on the path of recovery – please reach out.

Connect with me I would love to share my tools, practices, and mindset to navigate similar challenges together.

Much love

Ali

A Yoga Teacher Transformative Journey through a Hip Replacement

Breathing balance into our hips

I have been reflecting a lot recently about how our bodies are incredibly complex, and they often hold secrets to our emotional and psychological well-being.
I was intrigued with this quote about the physical and emotional aspects of the hips and as a yogi for nearly 3 decades, I have always been aware of them.

"Hip: Carries the body in perfect balance.
Major thrust in moving forward.

Fear of going forward in major decisions.
Nothing to move forward to,"

I want to delve into this quote a little more and explore how our hips can teach us important lessons about balance, progress, and decision-making.

The Perfect Balance: The role of the hips is in carrying the body in perfect balance. Our hips, situated at the center of our body, indeed serve as the foundation for our physical balance. They connect the upper body with the lower body, acting as a pivot point for movement. This physical balance can be seen as a metaphor for life balance – finding equilibrium in the midst of life's challenges.

Major Thrust in Moving Forward: The second part here speaks of the hips as having a major thrust in moving forward. This is a reminder of the importance of progress and momentum in our lives. Our hips play a pivotal role in our ability to walk, run, and take steps toward our goals. They symbolize the driving force behind our actions and aspirations. Just as our hips thrust us forward physically, our determination and ambitions thrust us forward in life.

Fear of Going Forward in Major Decisions: Here, it mentions the fear of going forward in major decisions. This aspect of the hips represents a common human dilemma. Often, when faced with significant choices, we may feel hesitant or anxious. It's natural to be cautious when major decisions lie ahead, as they can shape the course of our lives. The hips may be telling us to acknowledge this fear but not let it paralyze us. Sometimes, taking that leap of faith is necessary for personal growth.

Nothing to Move Forward To: This final part of the quote "Nothing to move forward to," suggests a sense of stagnation or emptiness. It is a reminder that progress should be purposeful. Moving forward without a clear destination can lead to a lack of fulfillment. Just as our hips move with intention and direction, we should do the same in our lives. Before advancing, it's essential to have a vision or a goal in mind.

I love this unique perspective on life's journey, emphasizing the importance of balance, forward momentum, and mindful decision-making. Just as our hips support our bodies and move us forward, we must find equilibrium, muster the courage to make significant decisions, and set clear objectives for our lives.
By paying attention to the wisdom contained in our own bodies, we can navigate the path of life with greater purpose and grace.

Here’s to our Hips… Hip Hip Horrray

Letting Go Poem

SHE LET GO

"She let go

Without a thought or a word

She let go

She let go of the fear

She let go of the judgements

She let go of all of options swarming around her head

She let go of the committee of indecision within her

She let go of all the right reasons holy and completely without hesitation and worry

She just let go

She didn't ask anyone for advise

She didn't read a book on how to let go

She didn't search the scriptures

She just let go

She let go of all the memories that held her back

She let go of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward

She let go of the planning and all the calculations of how to do it just right

She didn't promise to let go

She didn't journal about it

She write the projected date in her day timer

She made no public announcement or put no ad in the paper

She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope

She just let go

She didn't analyse whether she should let go

She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter

She didn't do a five step spiritual mind treatment

She didn't call the prayer line

She didn't utter one word

She just let go

No one was there when it happened

There was no applause or congratulations

No one thanked her or praised her

No one noticed a thing

Like a leaf falling from a tree

She just let go

There was no effort, there was no struggle

It wasn't good and it wasn't bad

It was what it was and it is just that

In the space of letting go, she let it all be

A small smile came over her face

A light breeze blew right through her

The sun the moon, shone forever more."

                                          Rev. Safire Rose

Staying healthy while travelling

I have been really blessed these last few months and have been travelling a lot. It’s so important for me to stay healthy when I’m on the move and I love to make an effort. I notice though as much as I enjoy to be on the road and seeing new places and having new experiences, at times I feel my body can get out of balance if I don’t take care to keep it well hydrated and nourished. This is a challenge when on the road, as I am sure you have also experienced many times. 

At airports and train stations we mostly find lots of bread type snacks, like pastries and sandwiches with cold meats or cheese, or fast food like french fries. Not ideal really as they can easily make you feel drained, bloated or even constipated and you want to feel energized and well to enjoy your trip!

Here are a few tips which I find essential and great way
to stay healthy while you travel:

* Staying hydrated is so important and especially when using air conditioned air in planes, trains and hotels. Most of the water we end up buying when abroad is from unstable plastic small bottles which have probably been left in the sun far too long. I carry my own bottle and whenever I can I fill up with still water. Drink more than usual when you are on the move and I find it does make me feel much better.

* Carry some nuts, seeds, dried fruits. These are easy to keep in a plastic bag and will give you nutrients and energy. My favourite seeds are chia, sunflower and pumpkin, dates and goji berries or some other dried berries. They are a great mix to snack on and give you energy.

* Superfoods. I love my smoothies in the mornings so I really miss this start to my day, so when I’m on the road I look for some good superfood mix, ones that have spirulina, wheatgrass, kale powder in them. These can be mixed in a juice or coconut water and can taste great. If the strong green mixes or a little too much then some berry mixes with acai in them, these can be a little sweeter. 

* I totally love chocolate and its important to have good organic dark chocolate with me, so I don’t rely on the local stores where you can only find the usual sugary, milky chocolate bars that really are so high in sugar and have no real chocolate in them. I will either buy a bar of organic dark chocolate, or carry cacao nibs which I can add to my food or nibble on, although these can sometimes be quite bitter. 

* I always travel with a few tea bags. I like a good rooibos tea or tulsi with either rose or turmeric and usually have a few different ones to try.

At first it might feel a bit challenging to get organised and carry your own snacks and food, but once you feel the difference it makes you will just get more organised and have a stash at home ready to pick from like I do when you are about to travel. We are fortunate that we find more and more health food stores and restaurants all over the world, where we can make different and healthy choices about what we eat. It’s also an empowering feeling to know that you take care of yourself and keep well nourished wherever you are.

You may also notice that making these choices of self love also inspires the people around you to do the same.  Make sure you allow yourself to enjoy the food delights and once you arrive at your destination find a great restaurant and treat yourself. 

I try to follow an 80/20 rule on eating healthy as I feel a balance helps me keep relaxed and happy with the choices I make around food.

I hope you enjoy these tips, I am interested to know what you do for a healthy travel.

If I had my life to live over again

This is one of my favourite poems, I first heard it on my Mindfulness teacher training programme, and it moved me to tears. I find the words so inspiring and it is such a reminder to live life fully and appreciate the present moment

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you" and more "I am sorry". 

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it... live it... and never give it back.